You would think that a garden-variety cold would hardly lead to an epiphany. That’s what happened. I ended up flat on my back, sneezing, coughing, not-sleeping, miserable, with a severe head cold and laryngitis. Lovely. Considering that I make my living as a trial consultant talking, discussing and coaching various parties in legal matters, the laryngitis in particular had me very concerned. Understatement. Panicked would be more accurate.
So there I lay, hour after hour, worrying. Not just worrying, obsessing over “How long will this take?” “Will my voice, the primary instrument of my livelihood, return fully?” “And in time for some of the critical work I have upcoming? Yes? No? Maybe? Maybe not?” Which made me feel no better, if anything, made me feel worse.
The Epiphany. Somewhere in there, it dawned on me that I was spending my time doing nothing productive at all. Nothing that would facilitate my healing or make me feel better. I was indulging in one of humankind’s least productive activities: worrying. The amount of time I was in worry mode appalled me. But it did lead to the aforementioned epiphany.
How much of one’s time do we spend worrying? Not necessarily in the face of something like an illness, but just generally. How much? Too much. Because for every minute spent worrying, we are not focused in the direction of a solution. We are steadfastly stuck on the problem, and that is an exercise in futility. No good ever came out of worrying. It really doesn’t matter if we are worrying about a small matter or a major crisis, the worry part doesn’t resolve anything. Worse, it puts mental blinders on our thinking such that we don’t consider possible solutions or resources.
I took myself firmly in hand and decided “Enough!” I started thinking about what I could do to help myself, what had worked in the past, how I could re-schedule client meetings if needed, and strangely enough, I started to feel better. Just turning my thoughts in the direction of what was possible and looking for solutions, got me on the path to wellness.
Was my return to well-being instantaneous? Hardly. But at least I wasn’t making things worse by worrying, worrying, and then worrying some more. My voice is back, and I am on the mend.
Don’t let worry stand in the way of your amazing ability to resolve whatever in your life is giving you grief. Engage the monumental power of your mind in the direction of “There’s gotta be a way.” and sure enough, you will find a way.
Noelle C. Nelson, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, consultant, popular speaker and author of over a dozen best-selling books. Dr. Nelson focuses on how we can all enjoy happy, fulfilling lives while accomplishing great things in love, at home and at work, as we appreciate ourselves, our world and all others. Visit www.noellenelson.com and listen to her podcast Up! Uplifting, Inspiring, Practical on Spotify, Google Podcasts and on YouTube.
Article by: Dr. Noelle Nelson April 29, 2023